Last time we started talking about the unease, dissatisfaction, and even anxiety that inevitably kick in once we start dropping or changing our routines. We discussed the favorite question of all three-year-olds (and of this blog, which is just 1,5 years old – so well ahead of its time): “but why is it this way?”. Our focus today is more practical: “so what can we do about it?”

Let us stick with the initial example: you embark on a postgraduate journey and have to free up time to fit in learning hours. Furthermore, let us assume that this is a consequential step that generally supports your current identity and self-identification. Thus, you will be optimizing your routine with the intent to preserve your current self-identification.

In an optimal case, you have a good understanding of your schedule and how your current time budget is allocated. If not, worry not – the next blog entry is intended exactly for you. Once you go through your existing routines, try to identify those that are suboptimal for this optimization exercise (i.e., not supporting the identity you are preserving) and/or those that are relatively new and haven’t been fully hardwired yet. If you are lucky, kicking those out of your schedule will provide exactly the time you are looking for to close the hole in your time budget.

However, counting on being lucky can hardly be our strategy, so let us push a little more: you have optimized everything, yet it is still not enough. There is no alternative – you must drop some of your most pivotal and favourite routines and habits. As a preparatory step, remind yourself why you are doing this and, while doing so, recalibrate your self-identification. Back to our example: the change is triggered by the beginning of postgraduate studies and is motivated by the need to find time for learning. So what type of narrative can accompany this decision? Quite a beautiful one, actually! This step brings to the fore that side of you as an ambitious person keen on a good intellectual challenge, ready to sacrifice short-term pleasures to attain something long-term. It may also show the side of you as someone able and capable of stretching beyond the comfort zone of your daily life, following dreams with determination, and being able to prioritize accordingly and rigorously. On the other hand, while stopping or reducing your sports activities, the self-identification as a disciplined and sporty, as well as a health-conscious person (maybe even a semi-professional athlete), might take a hit. Thus, one side becomes more emphasized and another one gets shaky.

Hence, to reinstall balance, you could double down on the habits that reinforce the part under fire: assuring enough quality sleep, eating extra healthy (at the very least just that one apple a day – but really every day), and embracing a healthier lifestyle in general. The main point is to give yourself a conscious signal that you are “still that person,” just manifesting it through different habits and routines.

As the adjustment will inevitably take time, you will do yourself a great service by starting to change your routines or habits before the event that triggers the change – the beginning of a postgraduate program in our case. Give yourself ample time to accept the new reality (and the discomfort it brings initially) and to adjust gradually, sort of dry-running the new routines. In practical terms, this might mean using the time you will later dedicate to learning on, say, reading. This will let you prepare mentally, get accustomed, and transform the new reality into your new comfort zone. In turn, this will reduce the overall (cognitive) load in advance for when your new chapter kicks in with all the new responsibilities. It is difficult to expect that everything will work out smoothly from the very beginning, and stumbling or feeling clumsy is hardly motivating. This is why I find this simple trick very helpful whenever trying out something new – framing the endeavor as an experiment. It takes the pressure out of the situation if your adjustment doesn’t happen as fast as you’d like it to, shifts your focus, unleashes your curious and creative potential, and, all in all, reduces anxiety associated with the situation. Adding a tad of humor might help as well – in your journal or even in your mental protocol, you might keep counting: “Habit Changing Experiment: Day 6280. Decompression still in progress.” Shifting yourself into observer mode lowers the tension, helps to change the attitude, and eases the transition process as you cannot be tense and observe yourself being tense at the same time.

So before we get back to the riddle, let’s sum up. To make your habit adjustments associated with a major change in your life easier, you should always keep in mind the source of this unease: deep down, your self-identification is being questioned by no less than your wonderful self. This is why starting with the reflection on your self-identification is exactly the right place. Identify which self-beliefs are taking a hit as you stop doing certain things and look for ways to reinforce these beliefs via different and less time-consuming methods. Make sure you start early enough and can dedicate the time this regrouping will require. Count on the fact that there will be some hiccups and turbulence in the beginning. To do that, try simple framing: viewing the whole thing as an experiment to make it feel lighter, and add generously some humour into it.

Finally, coming to our starting question: what does starting a postgraduate program have in common with an ascent after diving? A short answer is – a lot! The scenery and the environment around you are changing rapidly, you are leaving what has become your comfort zone, you are moving towards the light, and most importantly – you’ll be fine as long as you mind the decompression.