It’s here again – Halloween is approaching, which makes it high time for a special edition! Last year, we talked about “mostly harmless” words: these friendly-sounding “It’s a funny thing, actually” phrases that prove to be powerful spells capable of opening portals between two worlds. They practically divide your reality between “business as usual” and “nightmare.” Today we shall talk about the dreadful creatures populating this ghastly reality.
(for Halloween Special 2023 klick here)
Zombie-Projects: It just keeps coming back from the dead…
It feels like it was just yesterday – and maybe it really was just yesterday – that you safely killed a monstrous project. There was a big presentation and maybe even a party after it. There you are, walking around thinking that, maybe by a slim margin, you made the world a better place... then all of a sudden you see it just in front of you: your project is back and is staring with its empty eyes at you from an email! Somehow it managed to come back from the dead and now it is after you – it wants to get at your brain and maybe even your life (sometimes one will not lead to the other, but that’s a totally different story). There is no way around it and no shortcut: you have to face this zombie and make sure that after this encounter it does not come back from the dead… But how do you do it? Implementing a project review checklist or SCRUM meetings the second time around, if they were missing the first time, could be your silver bullet…
Stay Puft Marshmallow Man: It was all puffy and cute, as long as it was just a brainchild…
This project seemed to have an enticingly attainable and beautiful, maybe even noble, goal! It looked so simple and manageable that you couldn’t help wondering how come nobody had thought of kicking it off earlier. You might even be secretly hoping that its successful completion brings you the next breakthrough – at the very least, the recognition as employee of the month and maybe even the next promotion. To hell with it, this is not the right place for false shyness: the Nobel Committees for economics and physics might already be fighting behind your back for the honor of giving you the prize this year. In fact, they might even be considering swallowing their pride and just jointly pronouncing you the laureate…
However, all that holds while the project only exists in theory and in your head, or in the head of the project sponsor (this is a special kind of scary). Such a project might look alluringly manageable and adorable throughout the planning and sometimes even the design phase. Sooner or later, this project starts entering the realm of our physical reality. Once the implementation begins, everything starts going hideously wrong. The project begins uncontrollably growing, with issues arising at each of its destructive steps. The initial incompatibility of the idea with reality, the impossible level of idealism, multiplied by childish naïveté and a tendency to oversimplify, has brought a real monster into this world… Will you have the strength to call the monster for what it is and mercilessly kill it? Focusing on scope management and creative visualization of its progress to keep everybody’s eyes on it before it becomes uncontrollable can save you a lot of headache and sugar rush…
Vampire: The little Nosferatu to-go…
Somewhere in the back drawer of your desk, somewhere in a hidden folder on your desktop, but most importantly – somewhere in the back of your mind – there is this one project that is 99% done or 99% written off. Maybe you are actively working on it, maybe not – this doesn’t even matter that much… What matters is that, with its sheer existence, this little vampire is constantly sucking your energy and munching on you. There is a part of your mind that on some level always feels its presence. It knows about this one unfinished task or item, this one last unpacked box from the last time you moved house. This knowledge is enough for you to be under its horrible spell and to keep feeding it with your energy, mood, and even self-confidence. It will keep draining you to leave you just enough stamina to keep going, but virtually no resources, courage, or will of power to decisively end it before it ends you. Will you manage to mobilize the remainder of your strength and permanently nail it? Instead of a wooden stake, you might want to explore routinization and operationalization of chronically incomplete tasks.
What do all these monsters have in common (aside from the fact that they are metaphors)? They call for decisive action to fight them for good.
Now this becomes a true challenge for a hero in shining armor to show what they are made of in this noble fight! Obviously, they will need good weapons:
...but most importantly – a willingness to have uncomfortable conversations and to undertake arduous actions.
May the force be with you – and I shall be happy to accompany you in this battle, your Excellency!
